20 Ways the Quest Could Have Ended
by SailorSilvanesti
Summary: 20 short, random ways the Fellowship could have been thwarted or assisted in finishing the Quest Earlier...or not at all! O.O  Mentions of random other assistance on occasion, please Read & Review!


**Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings, Dr. Who, SUPERNATURAL, Stargate, Star Trek, Chuck Norris or any of the mentioned characters...this is my weird ficlet.**

**A combination of boredom and muse, produced this...It even had Captain Jack Sparrow take one look and pronounce, "Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness!"**

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><p><strong>20 Ways the Quest could have Ended …<strong>

**~)0(~**

1. Sick of all the pining and heroic poses Aragorn was always going on with, Legolas pushed him off the cliff…right after Gandalf…and walked off. Leaving Gimli and Boromir to ditch the Hobbits…

**2. In the Mines of Moria, being mildly senile at his immense age…Gandalf got a little lost…and so the Fellowship was screwed!**

3. After hearing nothing but arguments about the rations they were receiving, from the Hobbit; the 'Big People' finally got fed up and tossed them all in the River…and we all know Hobbits can't swim…the Ring was lost, but at least it was quiet…

**4. When Elrond asked for volunteers, they all made extraordinary excuses to get out of it…Boromir brought a Doctor's note excusing him from any heroics; Gimli forgot to turn off the oven and Aragorn and Legolas claimed they were going to search for Candy Mountain…**

5. Sick of all Frodo's angst, Samwise pushed him into Mount Doom…right after Gollum…

**6. Faramir gift-wraps both Frodo and Sam, dumps them before his father and becomes favourite son…Meanwhile, Middle Earth goes to hell…but Denethor's happy!**

7. Haldir is sick of the anti-Elf comments, Gimli the Dwarf is continuously spouting…and the Dwarf mysteriously goes missing in the Woods of the Golden Lady. And Galadriel isn't telling…

**8. Bill the Pony happened to be Evil…the Fellowship never saw it coming…**

9. After stopping to bathe, the Fellowship arises from their long soak, only to find their clothing missing; weapons still scattered across the bank. However, common decency stopped them from continuing on their Quest…

**10. Gimli is mysteriously shot in the dark…in Lothlorien…Haldir is looking smug…**

11. Aragorn tells Legolas he had to 'toss the Dwarf' at Helms Deep…Aragorn is found later an axe imbedded in his central nervous system…

**12. Trying to look for a shortcut to Mordor, Elrond tells Legolas to contact the Enterprise, Captain Kirk and Mr Spock were kind enough to assist. Although Gimli and Boromir sadly ended up in a tragic transporter accident…Aragorn and Legolas **_**still**_** haven't stopped laughing!**

13. Arwen gets wind of Eowyn's advances on her man, and the Royal catfight that ensues is so spectacular, the entire war halted so both sides could watch. In fear of facing the winner, Sauron packs up his army of Orcs and runs for it…

**14. Pippin made mention to an agreeable Merry, he thought Eowyn was a stuck-up **_**b**_**-…and never got any further, as both met with the pointy end of Eomer's sword. Without the Hobbits, the battle went badly…Middle Earth was doomed…**

15. The Orcs get sick of being killed by the Fellowship, and subsequently form a Union; Saruman and Sauron postpone the whole 'capture the Ring/ wage war on Middle Earth' idea, in order to work out a deal with the Union Representatives… At the rate they're going, all but Legolas and Gandalf [and possibly Aragorn] of the Fellowship, will be the only ones left alive when they finally agrees…the others will be too old to go anywhere…let alone Mt. Doom. Not to mention, the only Ring they'll care about is the inflatable cushion that pads their seats…

**16. They borrowed the TARDIS from Dr Who, went back and stopped Sauron from making the damn ring in the first place!**

17. The Fellowship actually _listen_ to the one with the most Life experience for once and make camp on the shore Legolas suggests, saving Boromir's life AND finishing the Quest sooner!

**18. Use the nearest Stargate to get some help from the Winchester Brothers, who exorcise Sauron…Frodo keeps the Ring as a nifty piece of Jewellery…**

19. They could've given the Ring to Chuck Norris…

**20. Discover Gandalf's been lying to them, what the ring **_**actually **_**says, is: **_Round and Round the Mordor Tower, the Nazgul chased the Wizard! The Elves all laughed to see such fun! "Zap" goes the Wizard! ***_

_[***To the Tune of "Pop! Goes the Weasel"]_

**~)0(~**

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><p><strong>Thanks for Reading, feel free to submit some of your own in the Reviews!<strong>

**PLEASE:**

**========REVIEW!==========================**


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